How many of you were told you were loners? Introverts? Shy? I think everyone is, to some degree. We are lead to believe that it is a weakness, or an unhealthy character trait to have. I think the misunderstanding is that if you are alone, you are lonely, or somehow unhappy. They are actually two very different things.
I’ve noticed that others who appear to be introverted or in a shell often times are more confident than extroverts. They simply don’t care that others think it’s weird or strange that they are quiet, shy, or introverted. They are totally okay with going on a hike, a road trip, fishing, whatever, all by themselves. They are unplugging.
I remember when my parents would invite relatives over for dinner; as soon as the doorbell rang, my sisters and I would sprint to our bedrooms & slam the door. If we were there too long however, my mom would tell us to be respectable and at least say hello, help set the table, do the dishes, etc., which we did. After we warmed up a bit, we’d still inevitably retreat to our bedrooms a few hours later.
My mom’s cousin asked, “How are all three of your kids so quiet and in their rooms? I wish my kids did that!” Mom's response? “Kids need to learn to be by themselves and unplug. It’s not my job to entertain them. If they don’t know how to be by themselves, they will never learn it as adults. At SOME point in their life, they will be alone. Whether it’s when they are single living in an apartment, suddenly divorced, or a widow years later. If they cannot enjoy and appreciate solitude, then they will always struggle.”
I never forgot that. Being alone is good. Being bored is good. Being shy is good. Unplugging from other people’s needs & expectations is definitely good. If you were born an Empath, you most likely did this naturally as a child; you found peace in solitude.
We are highly influenced by the people surrounding us at all times. Occasionally stepping away from that centers you. Stepping away from the ‘giver’ and ‘doer’ persona is what everyone needs.
So enjoy it. Go for that walk. Go to lunch by yourself. I don’t mean eating in your car, either. Sit down at a restaurant or cafe; just YOU. Sit by a fire by yourself. Go on that small road trip. Be a little selfish. Peace comes from within. You don’t have to be alone to be lonely, and someone who's alone is not necessarily lonely. Being alone is so wonderful, but so many people are so afraid of it. It forces you to be with your own thoughts. And that’s certainly okay and healthy.
So just do it. Unplug. Stop comparing yourself to what others are doing. Just be you. Solitude is indeed healthy!
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